SaddleBrooke Smiles Blog

Southern Security System

John De Lorenzo — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 07:27:46 +0000

HOW TO INSTALL A SOUTHERN HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14 -16 men’s work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.

3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads ……

Bubba,

Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour. Don’t mess with the pit bulls. They got the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don’t think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of ‘em in the house. Better wait outside. Be right back.

Cooter

Remember the year 1955 ???

John De Lorenzo — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 22:39:19 +0000

Subj: Remember the year 1955 ???

I remember the cost of gas and bread but did we really look like that in the picutres?

Comments made in the year 1955!

I’ll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it’s going to be impossible to buy a week’s groceries for $10.00.

Have you seen the new cars
coming out next year? It won’t be long before $2,000.00 will only buy a used one.

If cigarettes keep going up in
price, I’m going to quit; 20 cents a pack is ridiculous.

Did you hear the post office is
thinking about charging 7 cents just to mail a letter.

If they raise the minimum wage
to $1.00, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store.

When I first started driving, who
would have thought gas would someday cost 25 cents a gallon. Guess we’d be better off leaving
the car in the garage.

I’m afraid to send my kids to the
movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying DAMN in GONE WITH THE WIND, it seems every new movie has either HELL or DAMN in it.

I read the other day where some
scientist thinks it’s possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas .

Did you see where some baseball
player just signed a contract for $50,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn’t surprise me if someday they’ll be making more than the President.

I never thought I’d see the day
all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They’re even making electric typewriters now.

It’s too bad things are so tough
nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet.

It won’t be long before young
couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work.

I’m afraid the Volkswagen car
is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business.

Thank goodness I won’t live to
see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are
electing the best people to government.

<http://images.google.com/hosted/life/f?q=Eisenhower+&prev=/images?q=Eisenhower+&+Congress&hl=en&sa=G&biw=1280&bih=843&gbv=2&tbs=isch:1&imgurl=be341190ba0eb7d1>

The fast food restaurant is
convenient for a quick meal, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on.

There is no sense going on short
trips anymore for a weekend. It costs nearly $2.00 a night to stay in a hotel.

No one can afford to be sick
anymore. At $15.00 a day in the hospital, it’s too rich for my blood.

If they think I’ll pay 30 cents for a haircut, forget it.

Know any friends who would get a kick out of these, pass this on!

Be sure and send it to your kids and grandkids, too!

No virus found in this message.Checked by AVG – www.avg.com <http://www.avg.com/> Version: 10.0.1410 / Virus Database: 1522/3948 – Release Date: 10/12/11

<http://www.incredimail.com/?id=620189&did=10500&ppd=2748%2c201111071527%2c9%2c1%2c531922934658798605&rui=121691864&sd=20111205>

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There Used to be a Ball Park in Brooklyn

John De Lorenzo — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 22:37:35 +0000

REMEMBERING EBBETS FIELD & The BROOKLYN DODGERS !!

Subject: There Used to be a Ball Park

Why you should always have a camer a to hand

John De Lorenzo — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 22:36:19 +0000

Why You Should Always Carry A Camera

Have a great weekend guys . . .

Hopefully He Will Run

John De Lorenzo — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 03:25:24 +0000

What can I say????
Hopefully he will run for office. He appears , to have what most current politicians lack.

THE FINAL GEICO COMMERCIAL

John De Lorenzo — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 03:23:43 +0000

THE FINAL GEICO COMMERCIAL

Playboy’s Mother of All Data Bases

John De Lorenzo — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 08:37:02 +0000

This should keep you busy

Playboy’s Mother of All Data Bases

CLICK ON THE GIRLS NAMES…

http://playmatehunter.com/playboys-playmate-index#char_75 <http://playmatehunter.com/playboys-playmate-index#char_75>

Other way round!

John De Lorenzo — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 23:48:27 +0000

Other way round!

FIRST TIME AT THE SPA!

George Burns… “I Wish I Was Eighteen Again”

John De Lorenzo — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 00:33:21 +0000

~~~~~~George Burns~~~~~~~
IT MAKES YOU WISH YOU WERE 18 AGAIN FOR SURE but with all the knowledge about life that you have now..
Click your mouse here: GEORGE BURNS <http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?feature=player_embedded&v=F3c-WBn5cCg>

A “Definitive” Senior Moment

John De Lorenzo — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 20:41:39 +0000

Several days ago as I left a meeting at our church, I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.

Suddenly I realized, I must have left them in the pick-up. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My wife, Mable, has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. Her theory is that the car will be stolen. As I burst through the doors of the church, I came to a terrifying conclusion. Her theory was right. The parking lot was empty.

I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the pick-up, and that it had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult call of all, “Honey,” I stammered. I always call her “Honey” in times like these. “I left my keys in the pick-up, and it has been stolen.”

There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard Mable’s voice. “J.B.” she barked, “I dropped you off!” Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, “Well, come and get me.” Mable retorted, “I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your pick-up!”